3 Keys to Stop People-Pleasing: Setting Boundaries for a Balanced Spring

Since spring is all about new beginnings, let’s start with a little self-reflection. Specifically, think about how far you go for some people. 

Have you ever felt that you put others’ needs before yours? Is saying ‘no’ making you feel like you want to crawl out of your skin?

If you answered positively on either of these questions – or realized other patterns – there’s a high chance you may be a people-pleaser.

I know that you want to step in and help out at any given time. But there is such a thing as being too helpful, especially when you take it far.

With that said, don’t you think it’s about time you stop people-pleasing?

If you struggle with people-pleasing, you may think you're wired this way and there’s no way out. Luckily, that’s not at all true! With small, but effective steps, you’ll be one step closer to stop being a people-pleaser!

1. Start Small

When it comes to changing behavioral patterns, doing it abruptly can sometimes do more harm than good. So, start with small actions.

For instance, let’s say that you always say yes to your friends’ plans, despite having other, more important tasks. Instead of replying with the usual response, say no for a change. Even if this makes you super uncomfortable, this is an important step to stop people-pleasing.

However, aside from retraining yourself, you also have to teach people around you to adjust to your patterns. That&rsquo's why you should practice healthy communication, avoiding any off-putting situations in the long run.

2. Establish Boundaries

There’s no way you can stop being a people-pleaser without setting healthy boundaries. If you think someone is asking way too much from you, let them know about it. You may be worried that this can cause some conflict, but not if you get specific. For one, you can let them know when you’ll be available so you can manage your schedule accordingly.

To set boundaries without guilt, it’s important to hold your ground. It may be challenging in the beginning, but there’s nothing a little self-discipline can’t fix!

3. Avoid Making Excuses

If you struggle with people-pleasing, making excuses might be a standard. In those cases when you have to say no, it’s often followed with an excuse, simply because you aren’t used to saying it.

Firstly, there’s no reason why you should feel this way. More specifically, there’s no need to make up excuses every time you say no. To stop people-pleasing, you need to stay decisive. Learn that “no” is a complete sentence, without any unnecessary details.

Getting to stop people-pleasing may take some time, and the way to the end of the line may be rocky. But remember – with consistency and determination, you’ll break your old patterns and create new ones that mainly benefit you. Come to think of it, there’s no better time to start this in spring, right?

Ready to learn how to create healthy boundaries? Download my Healthy Boundaries Checklist to start making real changes today!